So as of last week, I'm officially single. I guess I've been refusing to date because I was unsure where the boarders were with he and I. So...roomate and I had a good long talk. He knows that I love him and he says he loves me but we decided that under no circumstances, will we ever make it as a couple. Strangely enough, I'm ok with it. I told him he HAS to stop the petty lies. Of course he says it was all because he didnt want to hurt me but whatever. LOL! I was born at night but wasnt born last night! I willt always care for him deeply. He was my first love but I really have to move on.
With that being said, J is a no go. I've tried but still no spark. I need and deserve much better than just a mediocre relationship. Yeah, Im a fatty. I know that but damnit...Im a hot fatty and I know that too! It gets aggravating seeing ppl with missing teeth and nappy hair being with someone and I'm freakin normal and I cant find anyone! Everyone tells me when I stop looking I will find someone. Maybe so but riddle me this Batman, how long do I have to stop looking before it happens????
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and Ive decided that I'm just bad at relationships. I've been in a few and some say I sabatoge. But for what reason? I guess I will never know. Until I do, I'm gonna be ok with the single life. I have stuff to occupy my time. My son (summer is almost here so we will be camping and fishing and things of the sort), my daisy dog, plans to paint my kitchen a buttery yellow, plant flowers, get a tan, lose the next 20 lbs toward my goal, and try to be happy with all that.
My friend Rachel says if I list it he will come, so that's what im gonna do. :)
*In no particular order*
1. tall or tallish
3. Hard working- not just with potential to work but must actually HAVE a job.
4. Callused hands
5. No more than a casual drinker
6. Big guy - I like to feel surrounded when Im hugged
7. Not too abrasive but knows when to take control
8. Established aka - not living with mama. (unless medically necessary and can be subject to change)
9. Red neck or country-esque
10. Must love dogs or at least my daisy dog
11. I'd like for him to have a jeep or truck or at least aspire to. ;)
12. Must have all essential teeth and in good working order
13. Great hygeine (bathing at lease once a week, needed or not)
14. Must love me and my son b/c we ARE a package deal
15. Must be of the christian religion - no wiccans/ atheist / need apply
16. Must not be vegetarian or vegan (whatever that means...)
17. Absolutely NO VELCRO SHOES - it's in my policy book. See section 1090 ss 4 "Say no to velcro".
Of course, I may be a bit too picky but really, if I'm gonna dream, might as well dream big. Right????