The big question

Trying to play catch up on my blog but they guys wont quit running crap....AAArrrrggggghhhh!  I love my job! ...at least that's what I keep telling myself.  However, there was a time in my life where I truly did love my job.  I looked forward to going to work every day and even did so on my days off if things got busy or I was bored and my son was at his dads.  You might think I'm crazy but I really did love it.  I loved the people that I was working with and the responsibilities that I had made me feel important and "in charge" so to speak.  People trusted me and did what I instructed them to do without question because they knew I'd keep them safe.  Here is not the case...Im just another Bitch in the dungeon or a voice on the squawk box. I'm sick of being treated like crap on  a daily basis. 

Here is the dilema:  I heard that the old job that I left this one for is hiring again.  I hate this agency.  I hate the way that people are treated here and I hate the hours.  But the old agency is a $200 per month pay cut.  That isnt much to some people I guess but it's huge to me.  I want to go back so bad I can't stand it but can I really  afford to take the loss?  I'm not so sure. 

I know the major problem is the "roomate", the one that doesn't pay the bills and takes up space and makes a mess.  Since August he has officially paid $100 toward our cell phone bill and just last week, gave me $144.00 that he told me to pay the water bill and electric bill with...HA!  If he only knew that it wasn't a drop in the bucket.  Water bill was 72.00 and the elec bill (2 months worth, mind you...i've been in a financial crisis) was $277.00.  Then had the nerve to tell me that he'd just get what was left from me on Saturday!!!!  BAHAhA!!!!   I paid the water bill and put gas in my car then bought some groceries. There was nothing left.

Yes, I know.  I need to kick his ass to the curb.  Im just a softie, a pushover, a rug, doormat....truly I'm a messed up person.  I have the doormat syndrome.  I need to feel needed - even if it means people using me.  I told him last week, since he had a job, he could make it a monthly thing- paying the electric and water since he doesnt pay rent.  We'll see if he continues to give me money.  I'm not holding my breath but I told him that i'm sick of putting myself and my son last just so I can help him financially and i will not do it anymore and challenged him to find a place to live cheaper and with the same comforts he gets with me.  I cook, do his laundry, pay his cell phone, have paid his truck pmt and what does he do with his money?  Goes out partying and drinking and God only knows what else.  I'm fed up.